An Italian dinner can be many things – quick and casual, or long and layered, like a quiet ritual. In Matera, on a chilly but sunlit November afternoon, I shared one of those slow, unfolding meals with my brother and his baby daughter. It wasn’t just about the food – it was about time, rhythm, and the quiet elegance of how Italians turn a meal into something more.

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During our trip to Italy last year, my brother, his baby daughter, and I visited the stunning town of Matera. It was already November, and while the air had a bit of a chill, the weather was still wonderfully bright. At that time of year, despite Matera being a top tourist destination, the crowds had thinned out, leaving us to enjoy the town at a leisurely pace. We were able to sit on the terrace of a small restaurant, without needing a reservation, and take in the breathtaking view of the upper part of old Matera.

For the little one, we ordered a simple dish of gnocchi in a rich tomato sauce, but with such a beautiful view ahead of us and plenty of time on our hands, we decided to indulge in the full Italian dining experience that the restaurant offered. It was the perfect setting to enjoy a leisurely, traditional Italian meal, savouring each course at our own pace.

For most people, Italian cuisine is synonymous with pizza, various types of pasta, and of course, fresh olive oil as a staple accompaniment. However, a true Italian meal, especially in a more refined setting, is a much more elaborate experience, traditionally served in several courses. Our meal followed a classic Italian structure, beginning with antipasti, followed by two main courses, and finishing with dessert. What is important, we enjoyed this meal as a late lunch, but in Italy, this type of multi-course meal is typically served as an evening dinner.

So, what does a traditional Italian meal look like, and what was on our plates?

At the start of the meal, it’s common for freshly baked bread to be served, often accompanied by a bowl of extra virgin olive oil for dipping. Throughout the meal, wine plays a central role. In many restaurants, you can choose between bottled wines, often from renowned regional vineyards, or opt for the local vino della casa (house wine), which is usually served in carafes. House wines, whether red or white, are often simpler but still of good quality. Sparkling or still water is also commonly served.

A simple yet essential start to any Italian meal: freshly baked bread served alongside high-quality extra virgin olive oil. The crisp crust and soft interior of the bread pair perfectly with the rich, slightly peppery olive oil

Antipasto (Starter). The meal often begins with antipasti, which are small, flavourful appetisers meant to stimulate the appetite. These may include bruschetta, cured meats like prosciutto, a variety of cheeses, marinated olives, grilled vegetables, or carpaccio – thinly sliced raw meat (typically beef) or sometimes fish, dressed with olive oil and lemon. The antipasto serves as an introduction to the meal and sets the tone for what is to come.

A carpaccio, traditionally made from thinly sliced raw beef (sometimes veal). This version appears was garnished with additional ingredients like sun-dried tomatoes (likely preserved in olive oil), raisins or dark fruits, along with a drizzle of balsamic sauce and fresh herbs. You can also see delicate herb leaves adding freshness to the dish, as well as small pink peppercorns.

Primo piatto (First Course), This course is typically based on carbohydrates and may include pasta, risotto, gnocchi, or sometimes soup. Pasta is a staple of Italian cuisine, made from wheat and water (or eggs in some varieties), and comes in countless shapes and sizes, from the well-known spaghetti to more regional variations. Risotto is a creamy dish made from short-grain rice, which is cooked slowly by adding broth little by little, resulting in a rich texture. Gnocchi, on the other hand, are soft dumplings made from potatoes, flour, and sometimes eggs, offering a slightly different texture from pasta but often served with similar sauces. The primo is hearty and filling, but it’s just the beginning of the main part of the meal.

The vibrant green pasta, likely coloured with spinach or herbs, is served in a creamy sauce and topped with sun-dried tomatoes and a crunchy ingredient I couldn’t quite identify. Interestingly, unlike many Italian pasta dishes, there’s no grated cheese, such as Parmigiano, which is commonly added in Italy to pasta with tomato-based or meat sauces. However, as is the case with seafood pastas, cheese isn’t always used, and it seems this dish follows that same approach.

Secondo piatto (Main Course). The secondo is the main course, usually focused on meat or fish. Unlike the primo, it is typically served without starchy additions, like pasta or rice. Common choices include roasted meats, grilled fish, or stews. If you’re dining in Italy, be prepared for the possibility of receiving just the meat with its sauce, like guanciale di manzo (beef cheeks), which are often served in a rich, slow-cooked sauce or meat accompanied by vegetables like in pollo a la Romana (Roman style chicken), where peppers, tomatoes, and onions are slow-cooked with the chicken, creating a rich, flavourful sauce that accompanies the dish. Don’t expect pasta or potatoes on the side, as you’ve likely already had your primo piatto earlier. The secondo is meant to stand on its own, with the focus squarely on the protein and its accompanying sauce.

Tender, slow-cooked beef cheeks, served in a rich, velvety sauce, an Italian delicacy. The meat had been braised until it was melt-in-your-mouth soft, with the sauce providing deep, hearty flavours. There’s a hint of both green pesto and red pesto, adding vibrant colour and tangy richness to the dish. Green pesto (pesto alla genovese) is a classic Italian sauce made from fresh basil, garlic, pine nuts, Parmesan cheese, and olive oil. Red pesto (pesto rosso), on the other hand, is typically made with sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, pine nuts, Parmesan, and sometimes a touch of chili for extra heat.

Contorno (Side Dishes). Side dishes, or contorni, often accompany the secondo. These are usually simple vegetable preparations, such as roasted potatoes, grilled zucchini, or a fresh salad. While not always necessary, contorni add balance to the meal and offer a lighter contrast to the richness of the main course. Contorni in Italy can (though not always) be served in quite generous portions. So before ordering additional vegetables in a restaurant, it’s wise to ask the waiter about the portion size, as you might find yourself with more on a plate than you can comfortably eat on your own.

No Italian meal is complete without a dolce, or dessert. This could be a classic like tiramisu, a silky panna cotta, or light, refreshing fruits, depending on the region and the occasion. Italian desserts are often rich in flavour but not too heavy, providing the perfect sweet finish to a meal. In one of the traditional Italian homes where I was a guest, dessert was a delightful mix of sweets, balanced with fresh fruits and nuts. After the dolce, Italians typically enjoy an espresso (caffè), a strong, concentrated coffee served in a small cup. Coffee is usually the last item served, although some may choose a digestivo such as grappa, limoncello, or amaro to help with digestion.

Our dessert was presented on a single long board, featuring an unexpected combination of ice cream, small pieces of cheese, and colourful dips served on individual spoons.

I traditionally ended the meal with a coffee, though not an espresso. Keeping in mind that Italians usually find it odd when someone orders a milk-based coffee, like cappuccino or caffè latte, with lunch or dinner, I chose an americano instead – a more diluted option, as espresso is a bit too strong for my taste. Interestingly, the name americano is tied to the fact that American soldiers during World War II would dilute their espresso with hot water to make it more like the coffee they were used to back home.